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02:31pm 31/10/2008
Darth Plumptious
There once was a young man named Theodosius.  He was a strange one.  He had an automatic rifle that he kept under his bed.  He was honest too.  He told people exactly what he though, without reservations.  The world to him was a sad scary place.  All the people in the world were walking corpses.  All the music was terrible.  Everyone was braindead.  Nobody used their minds.  He tried various things to help the problem.  Sometimes he'd play pranks on people.   Sometimes he'd take LSD, and ride his bike through the forest.  He appreciated nature, especially while high.  But nothing was good enough for Theodosius.   He saw a world controlled by happy morons, that couldn't be saved.  He wanted it to change.  He wanted to change it through peaceful means, but it didn't seem possible.  "Change only comes through the barrel of a gun", he thought to himself.  So one day he went to work with his automatic rifle.  He worked in a donut shop.  He walked through the door, and shot everyone in the place.  He shot Doris, the donut lady.  And he shot all the customers.  "I am GOD", he proclaimed.  He believed this action to be the most rational thing he'd ever done.  Through his actions, he drew a line in the sand and said "they cannot get me".  He unloaded the whole clip into the head of Doris the donut lady.  He reloaded and walked out onto the street.  The police had already arrived.  He barely set one foot out the door, when a bullet hit him right between the eyes.  He fell to the ground and died.  It was the final solution.
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