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slay the jews with your double edged sword  
10:51pm 26/10/2008
Darth Plumptious
I'm staying in recovery this time, but I think I need to get a different sponsor
I picked you kinda cause you're ok with not really having a working relationship
I don't know
 it's something I've been thinking about
 I'm not having an effective recovery, although it's more effective now than it ever was, because I'm putting in the effort
so I'm getting better
 drugs are just a problem
because they don't really work in the end
 and they destroy too much of your brain
 i really have a problem
 anyone who's done what i've done has had a problem
and drugs aren't what you romance them to be
 they aren't like that
 on the other hand it's something that brings me a lot of pleasure
 which is why it's hard to
 get over it
 I have no moreal problem with using drugs except that you only have a certain amount of time on earth, and you don't get that brain power back
 so to say fuck it and destroy yourself on drugs is insane
although then i get into deeper philosophical questions
 is there really a life and and a death?
there seems to be, but these things are all in the mind
 what is the meaning of it all really?
 how does one come to that conclusion
 that drugs are bad
 in a logical way
 why are they bad?
 they destroy the mind
 they make it impossible to leave an effective legacy
 ultimately you won't be remembered, I don't believe
what I mean is
 you're less likely to be beethoven
or bach
 or one of the great people of the world
 you could be marilyn manson, but that's not so impressive
: idiots get together and do drugs to make rock albums, and while they are good they are all products of drug use
 so isn't to be pro recovery, to also be anti marilyn manson?
how can you relate to it?
once you're sober
after having had drugs
you believed it on the other side of childhood 
you felt it first
without drugs
then you came to find drugs
atleast this happened for me
I came to find drugs and understand what they do
and what the illusion is
after being disillusioned about drugs, how can I even bear to listen to rock n roll?
it loses it's intelligence
most of it
 can bob my head and go yeah yeah yeah I'm a rock n roll mother fucker, or I could really work on building up my mind
and my character
 and my relationship with my higher power
I could tap into a new consciousness
: and get rid of all the old ideas
 put it all to death
 justice favors certain people, for their actions, and their character
i'm not sure justice lies
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